Auto mein Tick

If you live in the suburbs in Mumbai, the autorickshaw constitutes a big part of your life. You are either in it, looking to get in it, cursing it for not being available or wondering if you'll get one. 

Since I can't drive (this year's new year resolution, don't worry!!), the autorickshaw plays a very important part in my life. Every morning, the first thought that strikes me is - Aaj auto milega kya? Every time the three wheels approach me, I swear my heart beats a little faster with anticipation - will the driver look at me with disgust like I have asked him to dump me in a garbage bin and go off, or will he stop and execute the almost imperceptible jerk of his head indicating he is going to be kind and take me to my destination? The days that begin with a hassle free rickshaw ride to office automatically become more pleasant and productive!

Over the years, I have had many very interesting rickshaw rides. From the grumpy drivers to the ones who think they are Schumacher, I have seen them all. 

And I have spoken with all, or rather, they have all spoken with me. I have some connection, some pichle janam ka rishta,  that makes them start a conversation. I have heard sob stories, happy memories, life lessons and some fantastic tales. There was the guy whose brother was an IAS officer and sister was married to a senior police inspector. I asked him why then did he drive an auto? "Kyun, apna bhi to izzat ka kamai hai", he said to me. We discussed education and women's rights from Andheri to Kandivali and he promised me he would not marry off his daughter as soon as she finished 10th standard. I still don't think his brother was an IAS officer, but well... big deal!

One of the rides was almost magical and uplifting. I was quiet and thoughtful, thinking about life and troubles when the driver just randomly started speaking about Mumbai and how he was following his dreams... he used words like "opportunity" in normal conversation with perfect pronunciation.. and i was really, truly spellbound. When I got off, he said to me "Aap tension mat lo, sab thik ho jayega". With a wave he left and I stood on the road for sometime wondering what happened!

Two things that auto drivers are really good at are - home remedies for common ailments and philosophy. I have heard about the wonders of methi dana and honey and other assorted items. And some priceless gems like - 

20 lakh ka gaadi chalate hain hum log, 10 paise ka bhi izzat nahi hai

Cycle wale ko motorcycle, aur motorcycle wale ko gaadi chahiye madam, duniya tabhi to aage badhega

Ek gaadi chalane ko aur 4 road pe park karke zamane ko dikhane ke liye chahiye aaj kal

Mumbai mein traffic, dhool, tension hai...par life bhi yahin hai apna

Phrases like "Left se sarka lo" and words like "magajmaari" are additions to my vocabulary courtesy these drivers. 

The ride on 25th Nov, 2010 will always remain etched in my memory. I handed over some extra money to the driver who was visibly worried since he did not have Rs 300 to get medicine for his son who had fallen off the balcony or roof or something. He promised me he would go straight to the hospital to be with his son and said "aapko kabhi nahi bhoolenge". He left and I got the call that changed everything in my life - my parents had met with an accident...I always wonder what happened to that guy's son - he somehow finds a place in all my prayers, the last link sort of, to my parents...

Far away from their homes, these guys work so hard to earn a living. I sometimes wonder how bad their lives would have been, to make them come to this crowded, mad, polluted city and ride around town on three wheels the whole day. How many dreams would have been broken in pursuit of a livelihood... and how many needs fulfilled...

I think about all those conversations and I hope all of their daughters completed their education, all their sons found jobs and all of their bowel movements benefited from the miraculous powers of methi dana. To all those drivers who made my rides interesting - Thank You!! It is because of you that I don't strangle the other infuriating drivers I meet each day. May God bless you and the three wheels of your auto!!

Food for Thought

So its been a long time since I wrote. Okay. Agreed. But do we really have to talk about it? You know how all the "experts" keep saying one should focus on the positive and all? Lets do that! And lets hope there will come a day in the near future when I don't have to start a post with an excuse!

Swiftly moving on...

Have you noticed how everything in life is about food? If we're not eating, we're planning what to eat and talking about food. Turns out even when we think we're not talking about food, we actually are! We're constantly eating our words or swallowing our pride or taking everything with a pinch of salt!

Food is everywhere!
In our excuses - "You know how a watched pot never boils"
In grandma's wisdom - An apple a day...
In our gossip sessions - "You know how he is..butter won't melt in his mouth!!"
Even in our tricky situations!! - "Help me.. I am in a soup"!!

So when food is everywhere, how could it not be in my blog post! (Especially with some people constantly "egging" me on to write) Though I am not an expert, I can make a few things - beside bad jokes, sarcastic comments and excel sheets. Here are a few snaps of stuff I've rustled up in the past year or so.... Enjoy!!

Freshly baked brown bread with sesame seeds

Ragda Pattice - Street Food, Mumbai style!

Fully homemade Pizza - Base, sauce and all!

Wholewheat bread with nuts and raisins

Chocolate chip cookies

Burmese Khaosuey

Multigrain Bread

Some kind of Thai soup whose name I have forgotten!

Train Travails... err ...Travel I mean!

I always was terrified of the Mumbai local trains. When I shifted to Mumbai, I never even went near a station. Borivali slow..Virar fast.. All sounded like the monsters under Calvin's bed!! Courtesy a few friends..I ventured out on trains to visit markets in South Mumbai. Always in the afternoon and under "adult supervision"..the prospect of managing alone was frightening..

I have come a long way now, though Virar fast still terrifies me!! All announcements about violent accidents and fines always take place with Virar train announcements!! 

The first task was to memorize the sequence of the stops. Does Goregaon come after Jogeshwari? Wadala is on central line or harbour line? Why would you name a place Malad? Okay, that’s not related to the sequence, but is an important question, don’t you think? 

With the sequence memorized correctly, I got a little more confident. I got on and sat peacefully. One stop before my station, I got up and stood near the exit with a smug expression, only to discover that the platform was on the other side. I had to frantically jump over some 5 women and get off!! I was still hanging from the door, waiting for the platform to appear magically on my side when they pulled me and threw me out of the train…for my own good I know.. but it was scary. Plus there is the small thing about all of them smiling and shaking their heads and telling each other about yet another novice on the train…slightly embarrassing!

So I had to learn which station comes on which side! And what a task it was. I could never get it right. I would stand in the middle, ready to leap out whichever side the platform would appear on. This went on till a friend of mine helped me out. I remember his words like the Gayatri Mantra! All major stations on the left, except Mumbai Central, and all minor stations on the right except Lower Parel and Mahim (Major stations being those where a fast train stops). It was like the time I was trying to memorize the periodic table….and 

that was not even useful!! 

Anyhow, I managed to memorize the mantra. Then one fine day I was going to Bandra - a major station and hence supposed to appear on the left. I stood on the left, waiting for the platform to appear. I saw other platforms appear but none near the train. Turned, and the platform was behind me! It’s good for the world that I can’t swear…or else I would have made quite a few women around me faint that day. I was again pushed and thrown out of the train, and informed that in this particular train, Bandra comes on the right hand side- exceptions to the rule!!

So now, I have my own little mantra too - ask at least 3 women when in doubt. Also, always make sure that there is at least one person behind you getting down at the same station as you. This person will make sure you get out  :-)

Once I figured out the method behind the madness, I started enjoying my journeys. 

Usually people who frequent trains and on fixed times have train groups. They chat, laugh, share food and jokes and keep busy. I don't have a train group, since my train travel is erratic. I sit alone and keep looking around, fascinated by what I see.

In an impossibly crowded train, where there is place to stand on only one foot, there are groups of women sharing breakfast. After some eavesdropping (what? As if you don't!!) I figured it was a party!! A treat from one of the girls who got engaged. The women were all laughing and teasing and generally being merry.

Then there is the shopping. Vendors with all sorts of trinkets, food, veggies, bedsheets..clothes..and god only knows what else, also get on the crowded trains. With the vendor in one corner and the person buying in another, and with no way of one reaching the other, a human conveyor belt is formed. The first time I saw this was when one aunty wanted to buy handkerchiefs. Someone passed me a packet and asked to pass it on. I did. Then it came back with the message that a different colour was needed. That was passed on. Then came the price enquiry. Here, the woman next to the vendor, who had nothing to do with the purchase, started arguing about the price on behalf of the other women. Highly affronted with the price quoted, she went on and on and finally managed to secure a good bargain for the lady whom she, in all possibility, couldn’t even see!

I’ve seen women singing in groups, reading hanuman chalisa, taking a nap, working on laptops, fighting on phones and doing everything else during my train journeys. In those super crowded trains, they will push you and glare at you, but give you a seat if you are unwell. Pull you in and reassure your father that you will be okay during the journey…

It’s a mad world in the train..but a world that I now feel a part of. I am not a pro yet, but I manage. My heart still beats a little faster than usual at the time of getting on or getting off, but well.. That's like statistical discrepancy, meant to be ignored.

Conveyer Belt Syndrome

I don’t know why everyone says air travel is faster. I swear it takes the same amount of time for me. Seriously..if you include the time I have to wait to collect my baggage (Have you noticed, how it is luggage in trains, but baggage in airlines? Why?! I don’t want to be collecting baggage!).

I believe all of us are born with conveyer belt kundlis. It all seems pre-determined to me. Otherwise why would my luggage always come last? Always! No matter when I check in, what I do. Mine is the last solitary bag on the conveyer belt, looking relieved to be out of the confines of the aircraft. And if you are one of those people whose bags come first, get off my blog RIGHT NOW!

These are the people who bug me the most, the ones whose bags come first. They look around with smug expressions, looking at us lesser mortals who still have to wait. They say “excuse me, that’s mine”, even if no one is blocking their way. They pick up their bag, lift their noses up towards the sky, glance at the other passengers as if to say “good luck to you, I am done” and walk away slowly, with 100 pairs of eyes looking at their backs wistfully. In my head, I always imagine them tripping and falling. 

Then there are the people who think each bag is theirs. No matter that colour, what size the bag is, they pick it up to check if their secret symbol is on it (much like the Bengali aunty I saw on my recent trip. First she picked up a sleek black bag, then she picked up a hideous multi coloured bag which should never have been made. I was beginning to wonder if she thought it was a shop with live ramp walk by the luggage or maybe a sushi bar or something, when she picked up a big red suitcase and left…let’s hope it really belonged to her!!) They turn it this way and that and look all over, in the hope that something, some mark will prove that this bag is theirs. Usually the bag has to be rejected by at least three members of the family before its put back on the conveyer belt. Man, woman and the wisest of them all – the child. “No mummy, this is not ours”… and that’s when the bag goes back on its circuitous journey to its rightful owner who is probably wondering if aliens have kidnapped his luggage. These people are the reason those florescent green suitcases were introduced. 

There are various kinds of luggage too. There are shiny, clean bags, with designer labels. There are suitcases that have been covered in various layers of protection, much like monkey capped east Indians. Among all this, there is always a single piece of luggage that goes round and round on the belt, waiting for its owner to claim it. No one touches this bag (Well..except that family which should have bought the florescent green bags). It rambles along, looking bored, like women who are sick of waiting for their husbands who are always late. 

First Round - Hello people. I can see he isn’t here yet. I’ll be back

Second round – So he isn’t here yet. Typical.Always taking me for granted

Third Round – What are you staring at? (To the Family – Don’t you dare pick me up again.. this is my third round you **%##)

The owner of such luggage is, usually, a man, with low bladder control.

A Pasta Post

Many things inspire me. But very feebly! I mean, I always stop to admire sunsets and full moons and all things pretty, but I don’t usually do anything about it. Not that there is much you can do about a sunset anyway..but that’s beside the point. I take a photo and put it in my archives for use later on. “Later on” seldom arrives. But I ALWAYS take the photo.

Recently, I was very highly inspired by a few extremely pretty looking tomatoes. I couldn’t stop admiring them at the store, much to my co-shopper’s annoyance! I proceeded to buy a few, bring them home and then went crazy taking photos. I am sure the tomatoes were a little taken aback in the beginning but by the end even they looked exasperated. I could almost hear one of them asking me to “get a life” and I was very sad to see one roll down and fall on the floor out of frustration (We don’t discuss boring things like gravity on this blog).

At this critical moment, my aforementioned co-shopper came into the room and asked that all important question – “what should we do about dinner”. We debated the point for a while, to qualify as responsible East Indians and decided on Pasta. Red sauce pasta. I refuse to call it Arabiata because I don’t think it’s got anything to do with Arabia!

It usually takes a maximum of 30 minutes to make pasta, 15 out of which is spent day dreaming. It is easy and simple and almost always comes out nice. I am sure you already know the recipe, but I have pictures and so I will give it to you again.. and call it MY version ;-)

Since it is red sauce pasta and we can’t put blood in it, we use tomatoes. If you are nice, you will blanch the tomatoes and take the peels off and puree them. I couldn’t take the emotional pressure of killing the pretty tomatoes, step by step like this, so I just put them in the blender, peel and seeds intact. Roughage is good for digestion!!

Now I like lots of veggies in MY pasta, so I chopped beans, carrots, green, red and yellow bell peppers and mushrooms. I also add babycorn, sweet corn and even baked beans sometimes. I like to blanch the beans and carrots (and babycorn if I am adding it), fry the mushrooms with a little oil and I leave the capsicums raw.

In a little olive oil or butter, fry chopped onions till they are translucent, add a little chopped garlic and then add the tomato puree. Add salt, pepper and oregano. I always add a little ketchup to it, makes it more…interesting, shall we say? Let the sauce bubble away for a while and then add the blanched vegetables. I add the fried mushrooms and the capsicums last. Add the boiled pasta, mix well, grate some cheese on top and that’s your pasta done! Oh sorry, MY version of the pasta done!!

Now, you can try it, take pictures of the pasta, and post the same on your blog and call it your version!!